The One With Old Balls...And A Big Heart

*age doesn't matter for this beautiful couple*

I've always said age is just a number when it comes to dating. Two of my very best friends have dated and married men who happen to be at least 10 years older than they are, and they're extremely happy. I still believe this whole-heartedly as a rule for my dating life, however, now there is a few exceptions to the rule. Age is just a number, unless they are older than my oldest brother; he's seven years older than me. Age is just a number, unless my 3 year old niece, Bennett, is smarter than the potential suitor. Age is just a number, unless he still refers to my mom as Mrs. Borich, his favorite math teacher, or my dad, Coach Borich, as his golf coach. The age difference between the oldest guy  and the youngest guy I've gone on a dates  with is 18 years.

*working hard promoting Select 55*

When I found out my summer task was to work events with one of my seemingly much-older coworkers, Carlos, I thought it would be super lame! My first "big girl" job was to act pretty and hand out free beers to people and give them beads, bottle openers and shirts and other useless junk to promote new beverages into the market for Anheuser-Busch. Obviously, my college degree came in handy! Although, that's sarcasm, I shouldn't complain because that job opened up numerous doors for me and opportunities, as well as, provided me a few good stories (two so far) to post in this blog.  Every Wednesday I would work a string a bike nights throughout the Des Moines and surrounding area. I planned my last stop at a bike night not too far from my house so I could conveniently stumble home at some point after "work". I started to become pretty good friends with Carlos, who managed that particular last-stop bike night, and we eventually  started hanging out pretty often. By the looks of him, I could tell he wasn't my age but he's pretty active and good looking, and he had a youthful spirit, so I asked him one night how old he was. Eek...he was 14 years older than me! That freaked me out at first. Then we started playing the game, "Where were you when I was...8, 16, 21, etc." It became comical to think we could be such close friends with such a big age difference. 

Then one night, he asked me out to a Iowa Barnstormers arena football game with a few of his friends. People from work saw us together and it sparked rumors that we were "together." It made me mad at first because I didn't want people thinking I was dating some dude with "old balls," but after a month or so, I just let it roll off my shoulders and let people believe whatever they wanted to believe.

After work one day, I was with another girl from work at the local watering hole we call, Big Dogs, and he stopped by to say "hi". He had text me and told me to come out to the parking lot, because he didn't want to come inside. When I walked outside with my girlfriend to his pimpin' Oldsmobile and approached the window, like a cheap shot across the face, I unexpectantly noticed his three kids in the backseat eating candy and chips. Now at this point, I quickly calmed myself and thought this shouldn't be a big deal meeting his kids because we're just friends. However, as time went on and more bike nights happened, his daughters would accompany him, and I started to get to know them. The kids and I would take our dogs to the dog park together and go down the slides together at the playground. He is an amazing father and it was a little bit cute how he interacted with his kids. I overheard them calling me their daddy's girlfriend...and that's when I realized this might be a big deal.  

Before I knew it, our friendship did appear like we were dating, and Carlos had given me such a new, positive outlook on life. Was I dating a DILF? His sarcasm easily brightened my day when work was rough, and he cheered me up when I was having stressful custody issues with my ex over my dog.Then, we shared our first kiss one twisted night sitting on top of an outside air conditioning unit behind a small town bar that was know for their spiked apple cider (delicious!). Although I'd like to think it was just the cider playing games with my head, I didn't get those warm, fuzzy feelings (especially not from an air conditioning unit, but my butt was drenched from the perspiration) that is necessary in a long-lasting relationship. We shared a few more kisses, but eventually the friendship reigned more supreme than a romantic relationship.When I saw the light, I realized this friendship was something to hold on to, rather than to rush into a forced cookie-cutter, suburban life because I wasn't prepared for a ready-made family. Heck, I was 22, and still a kid myself, there was no way I could play a mother figure to three witty, beautiful kids. As much as I want a man who is ready to settle down and treat me sweetly like Carlos did/does, I also knew at that point in my life, there was no way I could give him what he needed in a significant other. When I would be experiencing the joys of my first newborn, he'd be experiencing his fourth child. When I would be at the height of my career, he'd be preparing for retirement. When I would be experiencing menopause, he'd be getting his diaper changed in a nursing home. For these reason, I knew it wouldn't work for Carlos and me. 

I posted about Carlos, not to rag on him or his age, but to point out that people of various ages come into our lives for many different reasons. Carlos and his kids made me realized that at 22 I was not ready for a husband and kids, but actually confirmed to me that I do want that someday, and someday soon. I liked being the young, fun role model in the kids' lives. Even though it was short-lived, I'd like to think we are an example of what good friends people can be to each other, no matter what their age. To be fair, every time we see each other, a spark ignites reminding me of the great friendship we have and we can pick up our conversation from where we last left it. Also to be fair, he doesn't have "old balls"....I don't think.